Social Anxiety Therapy (NY & NJ)
Break Free From Social Anxiety and Rediscover Your Confidence
Social anxiety can make everyday interactions feel terrifying and exhausting. You may find yourself replaying conversations afterward, worrying that you said the wrong thing, or assuming others are judging you.
Many people with social anxiety feel stuck in a cycle of overthinking, avoidance, and self-doubt. Over time, this can affect friendships, work, relationships, and your ability to feel comfortable being yourself around others.
Therapy for social anxiety can help you understand the patterns keeping anxiety alive and how to turn them on their head so you are no longer controlled by the fear.
I provide online therapy services for teens and adults across New York and New Jersey who are looking to overcome their social anxiety and feel more comfortable in their own skin.
What Social Anxiety Often Feels Like
Social anxiety is often misunderstood as simply being shy or introverted. In reality, it usually involves a pattern of intense self-monitoring and fear of judgment. It also often causes severe impairment in a person’s ability to live a full life. You may struggle making friends, going to school, going to work, dating, or even getting out of your house.
Here are some common experiences for people with social anxiety:
replaying conversations long after they end
worrying that you said something awkward or embarrassing
feeling like others are more confident or socially capable than you
avoiding social situations, meetings, or speaking up
putting other people on a pedestal
trying to carefully control how you appear to others
feeling physically anxious in conversations or group settings
feeling anxious prior to a social situation
pre-planning conversations in your head beforehand
Many people with social anxiety describe feeling like they are constantly “on stage” or being evaluated by others. This generally leads to avoiding social situations that you would ideally love to be a part of if you didn’t have anxiety.
Why Social Anxiety Persists
Social anxiety is not a personal flaw or a lack of confidence.
It often develops through a combination of psychological and behavioral patterns that reinforce each other over time.
These patterns may include:
Excessive Self-Monitoring
When anxiety is high, attention turns inward. Instead of focusing on the conversation, people become hyper-aware of their own behavior, facial expressions, and performance.
Fear of Negative Evaluation
People with social anxiety often assume others are judging them more harshly than they actually are or believe that if they are harshly judgment it means it is definitively true about them.
Safety Behaviors
Certain behaviors are used to prevent embarrassment, such as rehearsing what to say, avoiding eye contact, sitting in the back of class or leaving conversations early. While these behaviors feel protective, they can unintentionally keep anxiety alive. You learn to escape uncomfortable situations instead of facing them head on. This leads to more self doubt, fear and shame.
Shame and Self-Criticism
Many people with social anxiety believe something is “wrong” with them socially, which can deepen anxiety and avoidance. The self criticism after a “failed” interaction leads to more rumination and you may even start to believe people do not want you present in certain places, so you convince yourself it’s better to be alone.
Hidden Behaviors That Keep Social Anxiety Alive
Many people are surprised to learn that some of the things they do to cope with anxiety actually reinforce it.
Examples include:
mentally rehearsing conversations in advance
analyzing every detail of social interactions afterward
trying to appear perfectly calm or confident
avoiding situations where attention might be on you
saying what you think others want to hear rather than being authentic
These patterns often happen automatically. Therapy helps bring awareness to them and gradually develop new ways of interacting that are more genuine. They may feel scarier at first but ultimately help you become more tolerant of the anxiety.
How Therapy Can Help Social Anxiety
Therapy for social anxiety focuses on understanding the psychological and behavioral patterns that maintain anxiety and gradually creating new experiences that challenge those patterns.
Our work together may include:
identifying the thoughts and assumptions that drive social fear
reducing excessive self-monitoring in social situations
exploring the role of shame and self-criticism
gradually approaching situations that previously felt overwhelming
developing a healthier and more realistic view of social interactions
The goal is not to eliminate anxiety entirely, but to help you move through social situations despite the anxiety so you can feel more in control of your life.
My Approach
My approach to treating social anxiety focuses on helping people rediscover the person that already exists beneath the fear and self-doubt.
Rather than trying to “fake confidence,” therapy focuses on understanding how anxiety developed and how the mind can become stuck in patterns of over-analysis and fear of judgment.
Together we work toward:
self-acceptance
understanding and challenging fear of social mistakes
developing more natural and authentic communication
creating a healthier relationship with anxiety
learning how to become more present and less analytical
If you’d like to learn more about my entire approach, check out My Philosophy page here.
Who I Work With
I work with teens and adults of all ages who struggle with social anxiety.
Many of my clients are thoughtful, insightful people who have spent years trying to understand their anxiety but still feel stuck in certain patterns. Woking together our goal is not necessarily to gain more “self awareness,” because I’m sure you have plenty of that. In fact that may be your problem. Instead will focus on becoming more present in the world around you.
Start Social Anxiety Therapy
If social anxiety has been holding you back from feeling comfortable around others, therapy can help you understand the patterns keeping anxiety alive and begin building a healthier relationship your anxiety.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Schedule a consultation to learn more about how we would work together.